TV Free!

And FREE Indeed! We decided to unplug our tvs (and thus anything necessitating one) for lent because the kids tv/computer/video games habit had gotten very out of control during the last few months. I was a little nervous about how they'd react to be completely honest.
However, they have only asked to watch something once and since that one time have only asked every few days or so, "How many more days till Easter?" It's been like heaven. They're playing well together and reading more books and spending oodles of time outside where they belong, climbing and jumping and bug hunting, etc.
I'm ashamed to admit that there have been several times, though, that I have wished they'd just sit and watch a movie! Good grief! They are so fun and I am just a party pooper cause I'm so exhausted still and just can't keep up!
All in all, this has been the most wonderful experience and I'm praying about how to reintegrate small amounts of the activities that they've so readily given up if at all...
TV free.....?

conlicted...

I really enjoy reading my friends' blogs! And it makes me wish I could write as well or gather my thoughts and experiences in a way that is both fun and heartfelt. Or even that I could simply remember to blog about it all.
But that's where it gets wonky for me.
I am constantly struggling with guilt about getting online. If I want to get online I HAVE to do it while the kids are awake. I'm always careful to keep my time to no more than 15 minutes and to always know what my kids are doing and so on. I wish it were simpler to get on after the kids are asleep but it's just not. Because by then Matthew's home and I'm busy cleaning up the supper mess and other tornado stricken rooms before collapsing on the couch to try and spend a few meaningful moments with my husband each night.
Another thing I admire about my friends blogs are how comfortable they seem to be with putting their lives out there for the world to see. I on the other hand, am very uncomfortable with it. I'm not used to people knowing so much about me. But I'm working on opening up to people and I'm hopeful that finally committing to this blog that I've had for years will help with that.
So check back often, there will likely be something new to read!

( No Longer Cautiously) Thrilled To Announce!!!!

We are very excited to officially announce that we're expecting again! As of this writing we're 9 weeks and 5 days along giving us an EDD of Halloween! How fun is that?

I say cautiously because as you know if you read our blog, we just miscarried in November. My excitement is building to full fledged giddy-ness now but initially I just couldn't allow myself to celebrate. Now, don't get me wrong. I was VERY happy to be pregnant. Just nervous.
But with that fear behind me, I am now super excited and happy to tell anyone who may (or may not, hehe) be interested!
Here is one of the us pics from our 1st appt last week:

Legs are on the left, body and arms in the center and precious little head on the right.
For a moment during the us there seemed to be 2 little treasures in there but I was assured that second figure was simply the placenta. We'll see won't we?
Our next appointment is May 14th and our next ultrasound (including finding out who's in there) will be June 16th! Yay!

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

So I've decided to do this challenge because lets be real, I'm not always nice. My husband works soo hard to support our family and I am not always as supportive as I should be. So here's the deal:

Every day for 30 Days:
* You must say something positive or admirable about your husband, to your husband and at least one other person.
* You cannot say anything negative or critical about your husband to your husband or anyone else.

And hopefully this becomes a habit!

To sign up for the Challenge yourself go here:
http://www.reviveourhearts.com/challenge/husband-encouragement/


Day 1: After being gone for 3 days and hardly sleeping, my husband was totally bummed out that I asked my mom to have the boys spend the night so that he could sleep peacefully and late. Because he missed them so much. That melted my heart. So, I canceled to sleepover.

Day 2: Matthew is so smart with money and he makes it easy to keep our finances in order. This is not my strong suit and I so admire that it comes so easy to him. I never have to worry about bills getting paid or having enough for groceries or gas because he is so good at budgeting. What a blessing!

Noir Stars Christmas

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God decided to keep the baby most didn't know was coming.

I miscarried today. The bleeding started right after lunch yesterday and after calling the nurse we went to Palomar as advised. At the ER I gave blood and had an ultrasound. Which showed baby, sac and placenta but no heartbeat. We were told it may not be a problem and too early for a heartbeat. I was told we were stable and discharged. When we got home around 5, my mom had made dinner so we ate. I went to the bathroom and there were clots in the blood. After calling the nurse back we, again, left for the ER, this time at Zion. We checked in at 7:42, seen by the Dr at 11 pm again had blood work done and, this time, a pelvic exam, told I was ok for now. Warned of the 4 things to watch for we headed home just after 1 am. As we were climbing into bed I went to the bathroom again and found tissue. It was triangular and stretchy about the size of my thumb and bumpy like chicken skin. I told my Matthew about it and realizing that this was inevitable we decided to go to bed and finally get some sleep. When I got up in the morning I had passed a lump which I knew was our baby. I went back to sleep to avoid all of it. When i woke up later, around 11 I got ready to go back to the ER. Matthew had me call the RN to see if we really needed to drive all the way down to Zion instead of the clinic near our home. She said we could bring the "tissue samples" to my midwife's office and they would send it to pathology. We all went together but I went in alone.It was so hard. Walking in there knowing I had my baby in a tupperware container in my purse and I was about to leave him (or her) there. Of course, I had to tell the receptionist why I was there and see her shocked face. And then sit among very pregnant women waiting for their healthy prenatal appointments before explaining in full to my midwifes assistant everything that had happened through sobs. She went and got Mary, my midwife, who hugged me for a long time and let me cry on her. We talked for awhile before I left and returned to the receptionist, looking blotchy and on the verge Im sure, to set up my follow up appointment. Back in the car, Matthew asked where I wanted to get lunch, so off to Chick-fil-a we went.He even bought me a peppermint chocolate milkshake, too, the sweet man. When we got home, Fin and I took a long nap. Later after all the boys were in bed Matthew and I hung out together and watched old episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show. Throughout all of this I had surprised myself with a very matter-of-fact "God has this" mind set all the while fervently praying that His will would be done and that somehow He would be glorified through whatever the outcome. Well tonight, same day, November 2nd, Pepper woke me up with a few yips to say she needed to go out. So after a minute our motion sensor light on the porch turns off and I look up at all the beautiful stars. I hear myself saying, " the heavens declare your majesty, oh God" when exactly where I am looking God sends a shooting star! Instantly, I knew He was here, with me in this place and He "had this." I love a God who loves me back and is heartbroken when I am hearbtroken and rejoices over me with gladness when my heart is right and He is glorified. Although I am, indeed, heartbroken, it is well with my soul.

Summer update

I was just reading my sweet friend, Kacy's, family blog and was astounded by how long and detailed her posts always are. I wish I could focus long enough to tell you all the details. Anyway, I'm inspired so I'm going to try. We'll see how long it lasts before i get interrupted.
Disneyland for Autry's birthday was wonderful! We drove up after church on Sunday (his bday) and checked into the Ayers and ate some take out for dinner before heading to the park. It was perfect because, getting there later, we had plenty of energy and excitement to keep us going through the amazing fireworks show. Autry felt so special having all of the characters come to give him hugs because he had on his "It's my Birthday" pin. We didn't leave the park till after 10 and the kids we're wiped. The next day Some friends of ours met us at the park and showed us the ropes over at California Adventure. We had such a great time together. Matthew and Chris took all the big boys to see the Playhouse Disney live show while Red, Finlay and I went and got us seats for the Pixar Parade.
*side note - I was so excited because she was asking a lot of questions about where we stand as Christians on topics of abortion, homosexuality issues and salvation. I was so blessed because the Lord totally gave me the words to say and after replaying the conversation in my head that night over and over I was pleased with how it had gone and her apparent positive reaction. After a few rides back at Dland we all went to dinner at PF Changs. (Still all joyful and no signs of trouble.) However, since that day I've only spoken to her briefly twice, she's bailed on plans and is not returning any of my calls. My heart is broken that she's distancing herself from me over (most likely) a totally non confrontational conversation that she started. I can't for the life of me figure out another reason.
The parade was awesome! The boys loved getting sprayed and seeing all of their favorite characters, especially Buzz Lightyear! The final day was pretty peaceful as we hung out in California Adventure and then headed for home.
Only a few days later we left for Forest Home Family Camp. What an amazing week of fellowship for our family. We were blessed to spend the week with some great friends, the Urbina's and some new friends as well. We spent our days climbing rocks and searching for the best sticks, playing in the creek, fishing and enjoying each other in God's gorgeous creation. We were sad to come home as always but look forward to next year.
Since then we've been taking it easy at home but planning even more trips for the near future. We just got back on tuesday from a short but sweet 3 day trip to Las Vegas. We stayed at Trump and enjoyed every second in the air conditioning. There's a beautiful new mall right across the street and So many new improvements since the last time I was there ten-ish years ago. We also found a great Chicago Pizzeria in Henderson called Pie Town. If you're ever out that way, check it out.
Well, that only took me 3 very interrupted hours to type all of that. Lord willing I'll be able to post more of these detailed blogs in the future.
Until then,
God is good all the time, all the time God is good!